Matuu: My family Composition

Name:Kyalo Musyoka
School:Matuu pri.
class:5
Composition Topic :My family
My family has many people. My father, my mother, my sister,my sister,my sister another, me and brother who follows me. The one who is old is called kasiva but she beat us and say we call her tresi. she has started seein her seof from wen she wented to secondary school. The other sister is mwende and that another is mbula.Both two of them are of std 6. Mwende is the one who is old infront of mbula but she returnd class 6 again. Iam the one following mbula. my name is kyalo. other hours my father call me grandfather in kikamba. I feel many pain because my grandfather was called and I rememba him. my grandmother was called early when I was not borne. Then the one who follows me is kyengo. he is small boy and has not started to go. it is now he is teaching himseof to talk and beats alot of noise which I refuse to know what he say. the house of my father arrrives there.

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SHE SPILLED MY BEANS, I CURSED HER POT

……. The beans that I cherished with all my heart,

Nurtured them till maturity,

Held them more closer than my skin

And most of all my identity as a man,

she just spilled them and stepped on one……

Damn that really hurts,

shaking me To the root source of my being,

I thought We were meant to be,

it seems not or rather Its really rather hot for me to conclude “That’s not the only pot,pots are many All sizes and qualities.”

I say to myself, Even though I know that I can never get another Like hers.

I loved the way she cooked, A beans soup like no other,

with her nice clay pot, anything I bring home to cook Comes out perfect.

Indeed she wronged me, and I did so too We were both wrong.

Girl no matter how good my Beans are I need your Pot,and you need my beans, To bring out that Delicious beans soup.

I need to respect your pot and You my beans

We cant do without each other,

FORGIVENESS Is what we need,LOVE is what we have and HOPE is what we share, I need you for us to be complete()

BY EVAKIRA WAROGE

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………I do?… did?… do…?

when u first meet its all glamour and smiles all  the outings, the surprises , love and  fun.

Then you decide to push it further and let the family and friends know that you are in love and cant wait to spend the rest of your life together knowing that both of you just cant keep their  hands off each other, the world would be meaningless without your other half, this is the one person who connects you to the world, the one person who gives meaning to your life and makes you want to wake up in the morning to see the new day with them . this is the only person who tells you its OK to be you as they will not judge you. they accept you as you are. you can be stupid in front of him and he still loves you.

you are perfect, the Lord made you for each other , they were the missing rib. you understand each other so well that even in silence you communicate perfectly.

then you get married. you just cant express the felicity. everyone is in a gaiety mood. the honey moon is a blessing and you promise to re live  that time for the rest of your life. till death do us part, you say.

months or days or years down the line, the outings are no more, the surprises ended and the real person has resurfaced.

you now cant stand each other, their presence alone irritates you. you hate the way they chew, how they breath , their breath, how they squeeze the toothpaste, the way they sneeze, how they laugh and the smile that once made you weak now has a way of making you throw up. you now notice every bad thing about them.

what happened to the smile you’d wear when you saw him? the person who completed your world now suffocates you. don’t you remember the vows you made  in church before eye witnesses?  for better or worse. why are you now  choosing to break it? was it never love?  you start asking yourself if you rushed things or made a mistake.

love is patience, love is kindness, love is selfless and keeps a record of no wrongs. this is how the Holy book defines it.  its not easy to understand what really happened but truth of the matter is ,this is the real person,  no more pretense, the shouting, the nagging, the lies, disappointments, mistrust, extravagance, untidiness,roughness, rudeness is now in the open. this is what you have to live with for the rest of  your life.

this is when you sit down,suck it up and work on it.
we all pretend but cant do it forever.  life is good and when we learn to accept that everyone is not like us then we can live in peace.

Realtionships are about two people, dont let anyone come in between the both of you and  Finally let your forever mean exactly that, FOREVER!

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“Abandu abajinga, shivamanyire okhufwala…” (stupid people they dont know that i am wearing…)

Luhya, lunjes Omakhokho this is for u…

Four Kenyans were on death row for a very serious felony offence. They were given four types of the death penalty options to choose from: electric chair, firing squad, hanging, and HIV INJECTION. On the fateful day, the 4 Kenyans went straight to the Executioner to get killed. The Jang’o man chose the electric chair; and boom he was gone! The Kao man chose the firing squad. A shot was fired, and boom he was gone. The Kiuk man was lifted by the Executioner and boom he was gone! The Luhya man walked confidently to the Executioner and selected the HIV INJECTION option. They inject a bottle of the deadly virus into his veins. And off he goes! He walks confidently to his cell and tells his cell mates, pointing at the Executioner: “Abandu abajinga, shivamanyire okhufwala ikondom!” (stupid people, they do not know that I am wearing a condom)…. 😀 #dead!

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Kikuyus in Heaven! Very very Funny!

Am a Kikuyu and I stole this note! Read on…

Where Kikuyus are…… there must be a problem….. and a solution in the making…….. Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said ‘I have to talk to you.
We have some Kikuyus up here and are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Savco jeans instead of their white robes, they’re riding pick up trucks instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discount prices. Furthermore, they refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway hawking their wings!

They have sub-let their mansions and are now living in the SQs. They are even attempting “atiriri” talk over here! I found some attempting to fit a carrier on the chariot for carrying “thaara wa n’gombe “(Napier grass for their cows) on their way from visits! They are even using mpesa to send money to andu aitu (our relatives) in hell.

The Lord said, ‘Kikuyus are Kikuyus. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.’ The Devil answered the phone, ‘Hello? Hold on a minute.’ The Devil returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. What can I do for you?’ Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’ The Devil said, ‘Hold on again. I need to check on something.’ After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, Im back.. Now what was the question?’ Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’ The Devil said, ‘Man I don’t believe this…….Hold on.’ in the background you can hear “ngai!!!” This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.. The Devil returned and said, ‘I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. Those Kikuyus have put out the fire and are selling me a match box if I want to light the fire again!

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BEST INSHA: CENTRAL PROVINCE KCPE 2011

BEST INSHA: CENTRAL PROVINCE KCPE 2011

Care Of a forwarded email..and it made my day, so i thot id share it wid you.:)

Turikuwa tumerara for for for. Tukasikia mayowe kwa jilani..wuuuuui… wuuui.. wuuuu…, Kusikia mayowe kwa jilani kwanza nikarenga!!!..Kusikia wuuuui tena nikaona nisi assume kwani wahenga wahenguzi hawakujifunga kiremba cha mbwaa koko waliposema mbiuu ya mgabo ikiria kuna jabo. Nikashuka kitadani kwa mwedo wa hajikwaiiii. Nakwambia kufungua mlango hivi tu nusra nipige ukemi!!, kurikuwa na giza mingi, imejaa kila mahari.Nikasikia uwoga ukipita kwa tubo, harafu roho yangu inagonga mbu! mbu! mbu! Usitake njua vile nilikuwa nimemaka kama kibogoyo ameota akikula mifupa. Nikatembeaa aste aste nikiwaza kinaga ubaga kuerekea kure masauti za mayowe zilikotoka. Nilikuwa nikijaribu kama naweza pata mawe kwa balabala, lakini hiyo balabala ya kwetu hainanga mawe kumbwa kumbwa ni kokoto tu, kwa hivyo nikatoa kiatu nikitumie kama mawe. Nilipokuwa nikitembea nikasikia jogoo amewika kurukuku kuuuuu!!Nikashangaa Abadan katan kwanini amewika mapema hivyo lakini nikakumbuka chambilecho wahenga jogoo wa taoni hawiki ushago. Nikajua huyo jogoo lazima awe anakaa kwa mpaka ya mashambani na mjini, ndiposa hakujua masaa ya kuwika. Nikataka kumwambia huyo jogoo anyamaze lakini nikaona niwache kama walivyo nena waredi hayanihusu ndewe wala sikio ama shingo. Tuendelee na stori ya wezi. Sasa kutembea hivyo hivyo nikaona umati wa watu ukierekea mboma Fulani hapo kwa neiba wetu wamembemba mapanga, ma mawe na makamba. Nikawafuata, kuenda huko nikapigwa na butwa, lakini sikumupiga mimi kwa sababu ya kumuogopa. Kuangalia nje ya ile mboma hapo napo nikapigwa na hamaki,,wololo, palikuwa na kijana wa miraba mine na mwingine mwenya mramba mnusu!!Kijana huyu wa miramba mine alipigwa ngumi na kijana barobaro, jambo hilo linifurahisha nikacheka kwe kwe kwe na bashasha ribo ribo ribo.Kupigwa ngumi alitoka ndamu kwa mapua pole pole mpaka nikaamini ndamu ni nzito kuliko manji. Kando kurikuwa na wamama wanapiga nduru, Kuulizia ni nini kinaendelea ati niwakora wanapigwa.. Nikasikia nimemboeka sana kwani nilidhania ni wezi warikuwa wamekunja kumbe ni wakora…Kwa hivyo nikakubaliana na wahenga wahenguzi na nyakanga ukistanjambia ya Mutha utaona ya firauni,,,kwani nilidhani ni wezi kijijini walipigiwa nduru kumbe ni wakora. Nikirundi nyumbani nikaenda nikumbuka kwamba kila kilicho na mwanzo hakina mwisho..!!

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COMPOSITION FROM NYAKEMINCHA PRIMARY SCHOOL!!!!!

C/O A forwarded Email..

I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to.

I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You don’t want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked “why are you late? I said “ makaa was poured with water at night” teacher asked “ what has that to do with you coming to school late” I told him “ the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong’ he said that is no excuse!!

Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said “ you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said,”

You removing tears for who!! I don’t want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and don’t late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying.

When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!.

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